The importance of self-confidence in a happy and successful life cannot be overstated. Confidence is that invisible urge that makes you put your hand up in class, or put your name down for that team or demand a promotion when you know you've earned it; it's often the empowering force you need to make sure you feel seen and heard.
But sometimes cultivating long-lasting confidence is tough because, in spite of how they might regard themselves internally, too often womankind's value is determined and reinforced by superficial measures.
A recent British study done by Girlguiding UK found 36 per cent of seven to 10-year-old girls say people make them feel like the most important thing about them is the way they look, which is worrying because looks are not a formidable foundation to build one's confidence on.
So, while we go about trying to tackle society's diabolical issues regarding misogyny and sexism, we also need to arm our little women with healthy role models (aka: YOU!) who can help show these youngsters how to rebuff some of the negativity life can throw at them by cultivating a healthy amount confidence to see them through their lives and build thier value system on what really matters...
Know there can be fun in failure
Y'know your most confident mate; the one who always picks up the mic at karaoke and sounds terrible but, is entertaining AF anyway? Well there's a lesson there...
While you sit there bopping along in the audience, held back by the notion you will never sound like Adele, you've not only missed the joy of performing on stage but the relief that comes from figuring out that sometimes, no matter how bad you suck at something, the world will keep turning. So, bottom line is there's room in life to do things and not be the best, but just because you want to experience a good time.
Cull those toxic friendships
Let's face it, we all have people in our lives who we've kept around because our hangouts are habitual. Be it Tina from school or Jane from the gym, if you have an inkling you have a mate who revels in your failures and never claps at your success then that friend has got to go.
Keeping people in your life who undercut your confidence to keep you down and build up their own are not people you need to be around. They are energy suckers and you need to steer clear of them!
Positive, uplifting and inspiring people are the ones you need in your circle because it's just like Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
The mere fact that you're reading this gives you at least three things to be grateful for; your two eyes and a secure internet connection. Oh, but you're still not fitting into those jeans?! Well who gives a fuck! Those jeans don't help you read this so take one minute to be grateful... G'on, we'll wait...
When it comes to gratitude our Lordess and saviour Oprah put it best when she said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
So learning to cultivate a grateful attitude means you're on your way to being a more content person, and content people tend to have confidence in spades because they're not constantly diminishing their accomplishments by comparing them to the achievements of others.
Accept you're not perfect
We're gonna let actress, director, producer and woman who negotiated a $20 million contract with her bosses because she knew she damn well deserved it, Ellen Pompeo read the next one about accepting your flaws...
"Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself"
It's easy to get sucked into the "aspirational" world of social media but, the fact is we spend way too much time on the interwebz lately to get sucked down any rabbit hole that leaves us wanting to take the eraser to our authentic selves and become someone completely different.
Striving to be your best self is a noble ambition, and there is nothing wrong with that, but constantly being bombarded with messages that make you feel unworthy or like you need to cut, squeeze, inject and fake your way to being someone else is pretty soulless.
Surround yourself with people, including your "friends" on social media, who build you up and empower you to do your best—that's YOUR BEST, not anyone else's, not your squad's, not your BFF's, not your favourite Kardashian's (mine is Kim) but YOUR BEST, QUEEN!
BONUS TIP: Watch this video from the inspiring, non-energy sucking, confidence boosting little person, Jessica.